I don’t know about you but I have eaten myself to death during my holidays!

Food was great and I was having a great time too. Naturally, I have come back with extra weight and I can hardly wear anything I have in my wardrobe.

Now, I am certainly not getting too upset about it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not happy either, but life’s too short for mulling over spilt milk, so I try to think positive, I can buy something new!!!!!

I am not saying I am not going to watch what I am eating, but a diet?! No!! Shopping burns calories… Think about all that walking around and trying clothes on… Anyway, why torture yourself about being fat, just buy a size more and be done with it, once you wear something bigger, you will feel slimmer and will not feel so miserable anymore. If you feel good about yourself you will look better too.

Now, let’s talk about it…

I am, at the moment, wearing mainly dresses, which can hide an awful lot.

I can’t really be bothered to think, and anyway, it’s too hot here for anything else. But when it will be colder I am going to have to cover myself with something heavier! My lovely sister has the same problem and, as very often she does (I am only too happy to oblige), she asked me to come up with solutions to this problem, other than awful diets of course! We don’t do diets, we definitely like eating ….

Well, I guess dressing in the “I’m fat” situation can be made easier by some mitigating or worsening factors, like height, lengths of legs/arms, feet, hairstyle, age, and not last, where the extra weight is. It is all about balance. Balance between height and width.

Height does help a lot but, the obvious heel does help too. If you are particularly “not tall” (or the opposite for that matter), you should not wear very high heels,

that would just make you look even more “vertically challenged”, people would only notice the height of your shoes. Thicker heels make your legs look slimmer and ties around ankles make legs look chubby.

Short hair or long hair gathered up

makes you look taller too, as a cropped haircut does.  Of course a long neck with these kind of hair styles adds to height too, so show it!

Having said that, if all your weight has gone to your backside, you really don’t want to make your head look too little, this will only make your bum look bigger. Proportions are always very important, so you have to decide where you must add and where you must reduce. On the other hand if you have a “big hairy head”, your body will look smaller and thinner.

Do you have long legs and a short bust? You need to make your bust longer with a long top.

 

Are you very thin on the top part of your body? Add a little there and show some skin, take off from the lower part by wearing something dark and fitted (not too fitted though, it definitely isn’t stylish at all) to make you look thinner and longer.

Have you ever noticed if you have small feet your legs look chubbier and shorter? Try to find shoes which make them look longer for example pointy ones or with a wide sole.

If your feet look big, your legs will look small.

If your trousers show your ankles you will look taller. Especially if wearing something wide. Wear the same pair of trousers with a pair of ballerinas, a pair of men’s lace-up shoes, a pair of heels and see the difference it makes.

 

If your trousers are quite tight, don’t make them too short or have tight turn-ups, your legs will look like sausages!! In this case,  they need to be longer or with a side opening.

 

Skirts: lots and lots of different situations so I don’t know where to begin. Surely you can see what suits you and what not… just try to hide worse bits, balance weight and length of skirt. For example, if you have extra width on your bum you certainly don’t want to wear a skirt which is going to have extra fabric around your hips and you would have to go for something a little long to balance, not too long if you aren’t very tall though.

A lovely A-line longish skirt is ideal, even more than a straight one. If you think about it, a short skirt is going to make you bum bigger, a long one too. A small waist and wide hips make hips bigger, so you should perhaps hide your waist with a top that sits just above your hips. No tricks for big calves, just going to have to hide them I’m afraid!

 And don’t even think about wearing a jersey skirt, wear instead a stiffer material one which will hold extras firmly in! Of course, if you want to hide your tummy, you really don’t want to wear high-waisted trousers or skirts, the waistband would only close just above your tummy pushing it out further. Lower cut bottoms, not too tight and with waistbands which aren’t too thick, hide the problem.

What about your arms? Are they a little big or flabby at the top? You must wear sleeves. Are your arms very thin, have small breasts and all your weight is around hips?

Add a top with lots of (printed) fabric, not too long and which partly cover your arms.

Is the weight around your waist? Your top must be loose but not too much and certainly longish.

A little extra on your tummy? A loose dress (not too big), better if fabric rather than jersey, knits. Stand sideways and check in the mirror, do your breasts stick out more than your belly? “Yes” is fine, “no” needs working on. Always helps standing in the right position: hold your belly in, push your breasts forward and lower your shoulders!!!!!  Add to your bra, a little more “happening” on the top helps too, a printed or fussy looking shirt, necklaces, a scarf, a jacket left open, whatever makes the top of your body busier and makes it “come out” more than the bottom part.

I strongly disagree with the “cover everything up with huge clothes” theory some people have. If you have extra weigh the answer is covering a little, never with too loose or with too tight. Of course here we are speaking about a few extra kilos, not lots, ok?!

It’s obvious probably, but worth reminding, light coloured clothes make you look fatter, dark ones slim you down.

You don’t have to wear only black though from now on, but what you can do for example, is to wear light where you are thin and dark where you are less thin…

 

 

 

Ok, here are some slimming clothes

Also remember some fabrics are better than others at slimming.

Stretch is ok as long as the material is thick enough and firm, as previously said, jersey is difficult. Viscose is a good material for tops if you need to slim it down, while crisp cotton isn’t. Poplin (cotton) is stiff and anyway really difficult to iron.

Don’t wear ribbed knits if you already have a big bust. Knitted in general isn’t easy and always adds a little.

Silk, if you want to look slimmer go for georgette or crepe. Chiffon is a bit too light-weight and satin too shiny. While if you need to add, use organza, shantung, taffeta (very stiff) and of course satin, chiffon and some heavier types of crepe.

Linen tends to add, as does cotton. Jacquard (patterned), tweed, any kind of print add too. Forget bouclé ( you know.. Chanel) and similar. Gabardine (typical men’s suit material) is woven much tighter than flannel is for instance, therefore better for holding bulges in.

Velvet isn’t bad, as long as it’s dark but corduroy is out of the question, unless really fine.

(photos of the fabrics at the bottom, in case you are not familiar with some of them).

So, try to balance things and try to draw attention to the good bits, not the bad ones. You can also do that by wearing something really unusual or having a strange haircut, whatever you decide to go for, don’t forget a certain amount of auto-irony, that helps more than any kind of diet! And don’t forget STYLE!!!

E.