I have been thinking a lot about what it is that makes women think they look good. Well, you know what I am going to say, don’t you? It isn’t clothes, not only anyway.
And that’s because, although this is rather a boring answer, perhaps patronising too, it is true I am afraid. There is really no amount of money/surgery/brilliant stylists that will make one look and feel good. An analyst will. Yes, because the only thing that really works is CONFIDENCE, therefore believing in oneself, they way you are, accepting your deficiencies. Would you not agree with the fact that if you think you look good, you walk, move, smile, etc. in a different way, a way that says to the people you meet, “I look good”! And, would you agree that if the opposite happens and you think you look bad, you most likely move in a worse way, perhaps even stand in a kind of “hunchback” way, trying to hide yourself (couldn’t think of another way to explain what I meant). I am thinking for example about those women with big busts, don’t they often stand with their shoulders forward so that it shows less?
Some women are better looking than others, some have a better body than others, but we CAN all have confidence and if not inborn style, at least learn to make the most of our best features or even the unusual ones. I am not going to pretend that if you wear an expensive and well cut garment you are not going to look better than with a much cheaper and shapeless one, no, but! What really makes a difference is learning to wear what suits your shape, what suits your mood and so on…
Have a look at the famous women you like. Are they actually so beautiful or have they (also) learnt to think they are?! Do they sometimes USE their imperfections and transform them into something positive, like an “important” nose for instance?
I am much heavier than I used to be, now, I am not talking about “fat heavier,” or at least, just a little fat… I had to finally give in the other day and buy myself a pair of new jeans, a size 44 jeans. I had been a size 42 for a long time, now I am not anymore (I waited 6 months to make sure of it!). The really funny thing is: I am much much more confident now, than I used to be, and, although I obviously looked better 20 years ago, I didn’t feel half as beautiful at the time. Isn’t that stupid?! I mean being so insecure about myself when I actually looked better!!
Find out who you are in order to feel good about yourself (and I repeat, if need be, a psychologist will be better than a diet), what suits you best, what your colours are, what your best features are. Add some good clothes, as in well cut and good fabric ones. Hair/hands/shoes are a must. Learn to use make-up, not to cover up but to enhance and perhaps look healthier. Stand up properly and be feminine. Do try to look good when at home too, it is great for general moral to pass a mirror while cleaning and stop to think “who’s that cool girl”?! Now, I am not saying you should put make up as soon as having giving birth (I saw that, I swear!), there are moments in your life when one is entitled to look awful!!!!!!
If I have learned something in my life I would say that, while I used to see only in black and white, now I know grey is much much better (great for clothes too!)
xxx
E.